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Welcome one and all
to the wonderful world of the
Sturdy Beggar Appreciation Society.
Isn't it fun?

So, many of you are asking, what in the heck is a SBAS, and how do I gets to be a part in this here thing? Well, It's quite simple. SBAS is the Sturdy Beggar Appreciation Society, a club formed by us dedicated to our huge throng of fans...and it's FREE!!

Now we know what you freshmen mudpuppies must be thinking: "If I thoughtfully submit my good name to this admirable institution I am making a sober commitment which only my death shall sever. There is no offering too great, nor sacrifice too dear, that I would not ecstatically yield to this hallowed society...a society that I shall faithfully serve above and beyond all may other obligations and fealties." And, since we can't cut you off, you continue thinking, "For I am not one to impetuously type in my personal E-mail and send it off with no clear thought toward the consequence of my action. Nay, never! I shall readily give all that is asked of me, and more. But what, pray tell, shall that be? How can I serve when I am not privy to the principles and machinations of this Sturdy Beggar™ Appreciation Society? I GOT ME NO IDEAR WHAT THIS DANG MUDDY BEGGAR CLUB IS ALL ABOUT!!!"

What a devout flock of fledgling followers. So, you'd like to know what this little club is all about. Well, you're not alone, in fact, most, if not all, of our veteran mudder members would like to know as well. All we can say is, beats us. We don't know. Nobody seems to know. None of us Sturdy Beggars™ have the slightest idea what we are doing with this thing. That's when it finally dawned on us. Not one of us, not one beggar, not one fan, not one outside opinionated columnist or talk show host knows what the Sturdy Beggar Appreciation Society represents. The impact of this revelation was so strong that we immediately doubled over with dry heaves of unity and pride. The fact that not one of us knows what the SBAS is, is all the proof we need to prove that we are part of the greatest fan club in the history of the world. Can you think of any other assemblage that assuredly shares such unanimous notions as this? With all of us not knowing what we are, or where we stand, we, beggars and members alike, thus achieve an unparalleled equality. An equality that many have fought and died for. An equality...dare we say it three times fast...an equality of unequivocal quality unequaled in the quantum quests and queries of quixotic quipsters.
So let us all valiantly continue to joyously rock in our credo: If we don't know what we are doing, we can't screw anything up.

FAQs

"Why in the heck would I join SBAS anywho?"

There are many and varied reasons but a recent poll taken about a decade ago gave these reasons why anyone would join the SBAS.

  • 38% have exquisite taste and join because they love the Mud Show
  • 17% join for their zealous appreciation, stimulation, and/or titillation with mud.
  • 10% join with the definitive "why not," "because," and "none of your business" justifications.
  • 7% are your run-of-the-mill wild thrill seekers who join just for the "fun."
  • 7% join because they believe they share with us a philosophical ideology and regard their "place" being within this consecrated confederation.
  • 5% opened their eyes for the first time at a Mud Show as to what they believe to be their true life's calling.
  • 5% join up out of some sexual impulse.
  • 5% join for a potpourri of reasons, many of them being the common non-sequitur.
  • 3% fervently join up vocally diagnosing their "sickness."
  • 3% carefully neglected to fill in the blank.

"What in the sam hill will you do with my e-mail address once I submit it?"

Well, what we WON'T do with it is sell it to any company who promises to add extra inches to any of your naughty bits. You won't get any hot stock tips. We will not e-mail you every day. We will keep your e-mail address PRIVATE to be used ONLY by us. We will then keep you up-to-date on any and all Beggar happenings, including updates, contests, and new issues of "that damn Muddy Rag". Have some fun, and don't use your mundane name when you hang here. Be creative and invent your own "Beggar Name!"

"Dang. Sounds OK by me, how do I sign up?"

Fill out this ridiculously simple form.

Name (Beggar or otherwise):
email address:
Here is your Sturdy Beggar Appreciation Society Membership card!
Just print this, cut it out, and bring to your next Sturdy Beggars Mud Show® and receive a free gift from your favorite Beggar!
Sturdy Beggar Appreciation Society membership card
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