one and all
to the wonderful world of the
Sturdy Beggar Appreciation Society. Isn't
many of you are asking, what in the heck is a SBAS,
and how do I gets to be a part in this here thing? Well,
It's quite simple. SBAS is the Sturdy Beggar Appreciation
Society, a club formed by us dedicated to our huge
throng of fans...and it's FREE!!
we know what you freshmen mudpuppies must be thinking:
"If I thoughtfully submit my good name to this
admirable institution I am making a sober commitment
which only my death shall sever. There is no offering
too great, nor sacrifice too dear, that I would not
ecstatically yield to this hallowed society...a society
that I shall faithfully serve above and beyond all may
other obligations and fealties." And, since we
can't cut you off, you continue thinking, "For
I am not one to impetuously type in my personal E-mail
and send it off with no clear thought toward the consequence
of my action. Nay, never! I shall readily give all that
is asked of me, and more. But what, pray tell, shall
that be? How can I serve when I am not privy to the
principles and machinations of this Sturdy Beggar
Appreciation Society? I GOT ME NO IDEAR WHAT THIS
DANG MUDDY BEGGAR CLUB IS ALL ABOUT!!!"
a devout flock of fledgling followers. So, you'd like
to know what this little club is all about. Well, you're
not alone, in fact, most, if not all, of our veteran
mudder members would like to know as well. All
we can say is, beats us. We don't know. Nobody seems
to know. None of us Sturdy Beggars have the slightest
idea what we are doing with this thing. That's when
it finally dawned on us. Not one of us, not one beggar,
not one fan, not one outside opinionated columnist or
talk show host knows what the Sturdy Beggar Appreciation
Society represents. The impact of this revelation
was so strong that we immediately doubled over with
dry heaves of unity and pride. The fact that not one
of us knows what the SBAS is, is all the proof we need
to prove that we are part of the greatest fan club in
the history of the world. Can you think of any other
assemblage that assuredly shares such unanimous notions
as this? With all of us not knowing what we are, or
where we stand, we, beggars and members alike, thus
achieve an unparalleled equality. An equality that many
have fought and died for. An equality...dare we say
it three times fast...an equality of unequivocal quality
unequaled in the quantum quests and queries of quixotic
let us all valiantly continue to joyously rock in our
credo: If we don't know what we are doing, we
can't screw anything up.
in the heck would I join SBAS anywho?"
are many and varied reasons but a recent poll taken about
a decade ago gave these reasons why anyone would join
38% have exquisite taste and join because they love
the Mud Show
17% join for their zealous appreciation, stimulation,
and/or titillation with mud.
10% join with the definitive "why not," "because,"
and "none of your business" justifications.
7% are your run-of-the-mill wild thrill seekers who
join just for the "fun."
7% join because they believe they share with us a philosophical
ideology and regard their "place" being within
this consecrated confederation.
5% opened their eyes for the first time at a Mud Show
as to what they believe to be their true life's calling.
5% join up out of some sexual impulse.
5% join for a potpourri of reasons, many of them being
the common non-sequitur.
3% fervently join up vocally diagnosing their "sickness."
3% carefully neglected to fill in the blank.
in the sam hill will you do with my e-mail address once
I submit it?"
what we WON'T do with it is sell it to
any company who promises to add extra inches to any of
your naughty bits. You won't get any hot stock tips. We
will not e-mail you every day. We will keep your e-mail
address PRIVATE to be used ONLY by us. We will then
keep you up-to-date on any and all Beggar happenings,
including updates, contests, and new issues of "that
damn Muddy Rag". Have some fun, and don't use your
mundane name when you hang here. Be creative and invent
your own "Beggar Name!"
Sounds OK by me, how do I sign up?"
out this ridiculously simple form.