now, something that has been done before,
and better! While my beggar brethren will simply
shake their shaggy heads and snort with contempt
and disgust at yet another blatant display of
over-reaching and obvious pandering, I will attempt
to answer, all in one place, the common
questions we get as Beggars. We mud men
are not shy: perhaps you may have had one of us
cling to your leg in rapt attention before. In
this simple act of social intercourse with the
more attractive people we happen upon the most
common questions: what is really on the mind of
the disinterested, bewildered, financially endowed
Patron? Here they are, in order
Where is the bathroom?
until you hit the Beer Booth. Shimmy a little
to the left; on the building itself and behind
the green shrub. Don’t get caught, but if
you do, at least it’s still 3 squares a
day and a roof in jail. And they even provide
What the heck is a “Mud Show?”
depends on who you ask. I usually say “it’s
a comedy show that is performed in and around
a pit full of mud”, to which the response
is usually “Ew, yuck!” , but with
the advent of gross-out shows on TV such as Fear
Factor, now the usual response is still
pretty much “Ew, yuck!.”
Any attempts to pry further information from me
usually results in this response: “Well,
you’re interested in more? Go see the show!”
Do you really eat the Mud?
we are strained professionals and have a vague
idea of what we’re doing. What was the question?
Is there naked women in your show?
you sick little monkey. Just in our trailer afterwards.
Ladies love a dirty man.
Do you wrestle?
we believe in world peace, and resolving conflicts
like adults. Really immature adults.
Is there naked women wrestling in the mud during
but you wish, you introverted,
shallow dweller of your mother’s basement.
It’s a Renaissance Festival, not the Playboy
Channel! LOOK, just come see the show,
and all your questions will be exacerbated. We’ll
save you a seat. That’s a FAQ, Jack!